|
You can find your Fantasy Football results here. At Last - Useful Information on Fantasy Football.
Can you imagine the freedom you now have to get to the core of the Fantasy Football information you have been seeking? From the ordeals of working through dozens of Fantasy Football pages to just the right one? What if you could get Fantasy Football links that actually meet your needs?. You'd click on them just like we want you to do now on the one below.
If this Fantasy Football link works for you then you do not have to go elsewhere. This Fantasy Football site is just what you're looking for. It's right up there with the best Net information on Fantasy Football.
The benefits of have got here are numerous. Your Fantasy Football is over and your Fantasy Football shopping can now begin. Make sure you bookmark this site on Fantasy Football.
This Fantasy Football represents a good foot in the door. Don't forget that you probably have many friends who are also interested in Fantasy Football. Make sure they get this URL.
Many Fantasy Football websites are open 24 hours a day. If the Fantasy Football site you have now visited has good technology then it will always be available. Fantasy Football sites like this have sound engineering which is an important and vital quality in the hi-tech world of internet commerce.
- and
nascar to baseball cards
fantasy football links to mock draft
mock drafts to booster clubs
fantasy football cheat sheet to hockey
fantasy football services to statistics
baseball hall of fame to free fantasy baseball projections
baseball art to baseball news
professional baseball to final 4 tickets
baseball player values to fantasy golf
free hockey pools to fantasy baseball index
baseball player to baseball gloves
prizes to
to The Weekly 6-Pack
Super Bowl 2004: Silly or Boring?
by: David Leonhardt
If you watched the Super Bowl, you know that Janet Jackson revealed one of two things. She revealed how silly and paranoid otherwise normal human beings can get. Unfortunately, she did not reveal how bored we have become with run-of-the-mill celebrity nudity. Had she revealed both things, like most celebrities, we probably would still be yawning.
Let's do the math. There are 6,517 celebrities, according to the Celebrity Census Bureau, applying the official "celebrity accounting method".
Of those, 86.5* are "revolting", again using the CCB's "celebrity accounting method", so nobody really wants to pay attention to their finer details.
Of the remaining 6,430.5 celebrities, 3,729.5* are male, using no particular accounting method. Who cares if they flash their front bumpers?
Of the remaining 2,701, 2100 pose in their birthday suits often, usually after their plastic surgeon makes a regularly scheduled emergency house call.
Of the remaining 601, just 79 have yet to wear their birthday suits in public, leading to persistent rumors of an undercover plot.
In February, 2004, the plot was uncovered. Janet's Jackson's exposure became the all-time top Internet search -- surpassing even the September 11 attack on America. Even Osama's sinister terrorists could not banish Americans to cyberspace as effectively as Janet Jackson, who obviously found a way to evade pop-up blockers.
Fortunately, nobody died from Janet Jackson's stunt. If only we could convince Osama to adopt the "Janet Jackson Method" in the future, we would all be much safer.
Which brings me to the point of this article: what's the big deal? Celebrity # 2623 reveals that she is almost as feminine as her brother. Big whoop-dee-do.
The Grammy Award organizers imposed a ten-second audio delay to prevent other celebrities from also seeking publicity. What?!? Isn't that what celebrities do? Isn't that their contribution to society? Garbage collectors collect garbage so we don't die of disease. Farmers grow food so we don't die of starvation. Celebrities seek publicity so we don't die of boredom.
Maybe it's just me, but I didn't know that part of the body had an audio track.
If they institute a ten-second audio delay, they should at least make it interesting. I say add a 30-second video delay, too. And why not make it really interesting? I'm a big fan of audience participation. Why not ask the audience for a one-minute applause delay?
Of course, there was the predictable outcry about "the children". That outcry did not extend to the commercials. Like the one about the male potency drug. Or the one with children swearing.
This being a family column, I can't even pick on those commercials, which is the most frustrating torture a humor columnist can endure. Aaaarrrgh!
And did anybody notice what repugnant violence they slipped in around the commercials? Football. -- where half the players on each team exist just to bash into half the players on the other team. They are not even supposed to touch the ball. They are strictly there to maintain the required quota of violence. No outcry there.
And what about the streaker? Did you notice the security guards chasing him out onto the field so that everyone could get a good look at his birthday suit? Why didn't they chase him in the other direction? Did they accept a little payola? Who's investigating them? Where's the outcry?
When Janet Jackson showed just how deep her cleavage runs, where were the security guards? A conspiracy, perhaps? More payola? Or perhaps they knew the difference between full frontal (and backal and sidal) nudity on the one hand and just a little teasing in the other?
If you worry about "the children", why not get your kids decontaminated? Turn on a nice, wholesome station whose entire existence is dedicated to serving America's youth: MTV.
* Michael Jackson
|